"No Moon Midnight" by Sara Backer

No Moon Midnight

Midnight I lie on moss and weeds in what was once a lawn and scan the sky. For a second, I mistake fireflies for meteors. What have I done with my life? So much diligence wasted on bottom rungs. Clerical work. Dating. Why couldn’t I say no thanks, goof off, read books on company time? We all mocked my grandfather for filming sunsets start to finish, seeking the ideal, but he had it right; he got to see a lot of sunsets. At least, I went to Rome. I should have bought the too-expensive leather sandals, but on a drizzly day that made the fountains quiver, I walked on the roof of St. Peter’s behind the backs of saints. The depth of blackness shimmers with dimension. I shut my eyes and microscopic stars blow between my outstretched fingers.

SARA BACKER

Former Californian Sara Backer now has an MFA from the Vermont College of Fine Arts, lives in New Hampshire, and teaches at UMass Lowell. She has two chapbooks, Scavenger Hunt (dancing girl press, 2018) and Bicycle Lotus (Left Fork, 2015), which won the Turtle Island Poetry Award. Her writing has been honored with residency fellowships from the Norton Island and Djerassi programs and with eight Pushcart Prize nominations. Her website is sarabacker.com.

Headshot: Bryan Pfeiffer

Photo Credit: Staff