"Tell Me, Are the Trees Scared of the Darkness?" by Irene Cantizano Bescós

Tell me, are the trees afraid of the darkness?

Long shadows are piling on the corners of this room
and there’s a baby on the sofa that somehow
came from deep inside my body
all blood and pain and love and thirst
he looks at me now and I don’t know,
kid, I’m a child myself, what am I supposed to do?

There are tiny lights inside my brain
neurons firing
constellations
and all I’ve ever learnt
are different ways of being afraid.

But I’m sick of speaking of the things that harmed me.
There are wounds that will not heal.
The sweet smell of yellow death,
my father’s hands, holding the glass,
how I wanted to hurt him, deep,
and find the limits of the love
he told me I did not deserve.
What’s the point of telling you this?

”You need to feel in control” my therapist says.
”No kidding” I think.
There are birds on my tongue
and outside there’s blazing gold —
”This is not working, just give me a pill”
so I can quiet the terror
and listen to the trees instead,
green and hungry
and roaring for love.

Irene Cantizano Bescós

Irene is a bilingual writer, journalist, and immigrant from Spain living in the UK. Her non-fiction has been published in leading Spanish and UK titles such as Huffington Post, El País, Telva, and Positive News. Her fiction and creative non-fiction have been featured in (mac)ro(mic) and Tales to Terrify, and she won Castilla y Leon International Fantasy Film Festival’s short story competition in 2018. You can find her on Twitter as @IreneCantizano.

Headshot: Arturo Bajuelos Castillo

Photo Credit: Staff