“‘What stars could I have conjured’: A review of Donna Vorreyer’s ‘To Everything There Is’” by Alexandria Villegas

Existence is fleeting and anguish is an all-consuming presence: such is a fitting
sentiment for the grief-stricken. The loss of others and the loss of the self are inevitable parts of living, and death is always accompanied by a heartache which lingers and yearns for tears, with no intent of letting go. As Donna Vorreyer insists in her poem “After” from her latest poetry collection, To Everything There Is (Sundress, 2020), “We die and are put into the earth forever. How strange and fine to get so near it, machinery of the dark.” Vorreyer, an associate editor for Rhino Poetry and a recently-retired middle school teacher of 36 years, is the accomplished author of seven chapbooks and two previously published poetry collections, A House of Many Windows (Sundress, 2013) and Every Love Story is an Apocalypse Story (Sundress, 2016).
Themes of loss, mortality, denial, and grief are present throughout Vorreyer’s poetry collection, To Everything There Is. Through the heart-wrenching personal story of her parents’ recent deaths, Vorreyer’s poetry leaves the reader with a powerful reflection of the sorrowful struggle to reconcile grief and remorse with resigned feelings of acceptance.
The poem “During” functions as both a lament and reflection as Vorreyer examines how she was in denial of the extent to which her mother’s health was deteriorating during her final days. Contemplating the frailty of her mother toward the end of her life, Vorreyer describes how her mother’s only “work was to let the machine of survival break down” as her body continued to weaken and eventually give out. Vorreyer continues the poem by examining the contentedness of her mother in her final days as she longed for death’s “sweet goodness.” She emphasizes her mother’s eagerness to meet her end by comparing the slow beating of her mother’s failing heart to the slow roar of applause, highlighting the enthusiasm to die. This is contrasted with Vorreyer’s resistance to accept the reality of her mother’s imminent passing. By the poem’s end, Vorreyer confesses how her denial of her mother’s condition was intentional because she did not want to admit that there wasn’t any hope of survival. After losing her mother, she is left to lug around her grief after fighting the “winless war” with death.
“Refusal” serves as a continuation on the theme of denial as Vorreyer’s father could not accept the death of his wife. “Refusal” conveys three different reactions to loss, that of  mother, father, and daughter. As illustrated in the poem’s first couplets, Vorreyer’s mother demonstrated a reluctance to fight her illness and receive medical treatment by making “excuses - weather, father, hockey on TV. The status quo.” Regardless of her children’s desperation, which is accentuated by the words “pleaded” and “begged,” Vorreyer’s mother decided to give in to her illness, essentially choosing death. This is succeeded by the grief of Vorreyer’s father, who, while remaining in denial, refuses to accept that his wife is gone. This ultimately leaves him “alone and yearning for death,” like his wife before him. The inevitable deaths of both parents are highlighted by the repetition of ‘there’ at the end of each couplet. Within the poem, ‘there’ is representative of the cycle of life and death, from illness to doctor then home, from emergency room to deathbed. Ultimately, the poem concludes with Vorreyer’s acknowledgement that she will have to return ‘there,’ as her father’s refusal to live will lead her back to the inevitable cycle.
First published in MORIA Literary Magazine’s Issue Three, the poem, “Take Care, Take Care, Take Care,” analyzes the process of mourning following loss. This poem closely examines how the death of Vorreyer’s mother deeply impacted her family in the months after she passed. The first lines of the poem illustrate the period of pity, condolences, and ignorance that follows immediately after her mother has died as people outside the family learn of her fate. The grieving process is conveyed through the experience of Vorreyer’s brother, who is indicative of the debilitating nature of grief through his need to “retrace, / admit he’s just a bit off-track.” Vorreyer showcases the varying stages of mourning as she goes on to state, “then a sadness overtakes. / Anger next” as her brother takes his frustrations out on the rest of the family. At the poem’s conclusion, although they are all overwhelmed with sorrow, Vorreyer’s family does “their best to keep him safe,” with the implication being that her brother may harm himself or commit suicide. Ultimately, the tragedy of the poem is heightened in the poem’s final lines as Vorreyer announces, “She died in June. Today, the first red autumn leaf.” The reality of this time-frame manages to accentuate the simultaneous brevity of the time that has passed since her mother’s death, as the approximate three months from June to the start of autumn highlights the recency of their loss, as well as hints at the probable longevity of which her family’s grieving process will last.
Vorreyer reflects on the nature of grief, remorse, and acceptance in her poem “Last Rites,” also published in MORIA’s Issue Three. In the poem, she communicates how she felt helpless at her inability to save her mother from her eventual death. Vorreyer conveys death through the metaphor of a fox in her mother’s mind. The fox, representative of death, is contrasted with the imagery of the stars and the moon, which are indicative of a life struggling to hold on. In the first lines of the poem, Vorreyer reflects on her mother, stating how “there was a fox inside her sleep whose howl / frightened the moon and stars to dimming.” Although she tried to help her mother, and “turned on every light . . . the room remained / dark,” and her attempts were ultimately futile. The animal metaphor is expanded upon with the image of the wren, an unassuming, common bird, which is used within the poem as a symbol for Vorreyer’s helplessness. As her mother’s condition deteriorates, her breath is described as “roadkill rotten,” which underscores her failing health and imminent death. As Vorreyer’s mother nears her end, the fox returns, appearing “at the door with a bone / in its mouth,” suggesting that death has just devoured its prey, her mother’s life. After her mother passes away, all that Vorreyer has left is the image of the fox, a harsh reminder of her mother’s death. At the end of the poem, Vorreyer comes to accept that there was nothing she could do to help, which is expressed in the final lines’ rhetorical question: “Tell me, what moon, what stars could I have conjured, / what light, to brighten all her troubled sleep?”
Finally, Vorreyer’s poem, “After Observing the Mummy With My Students at the Museum,” transitions from the remnants of grief to her recovery and eventual acceptance of loss. In this poem, Vorreyer uses a poetic anecdote to communicate her healing process following her parents’ deaths. The image of the desiccated mummy in the opening lines is illustrative of the time which has passed. When her students contemplate the mummy’s mental state at the poem’s beginning, Vorreyer concludes that he appears indifferent because his narrative is resolved. However, after she and her students traverse the museum and visit different exhibits, Vorreyer reflects upon the “phenomenon, to ritualize death,” after her father’s wake a few weeks prior. The examination of the dinosaur exhibit establishes a metaphor between the extinction and the challenges faced by Vorreyer and her siblings, as her family members are essentially the creatures that “thrived, but could not abide change,” specifically, the change of losing their parents. Therefore, in order to survive and not go extinct, Vorreyer, in the depths of her “primordial” heart, must come to terms with her parents’ passing and recognize that they were at peace before they died. It is only then that she comes to remember the “holiness to their faces in their last days, gaunt and drawn yet knowing, much like the mummy.” With this realization, Vorreyer finally accepts the reality of her loss and begins the process of recovery by the poem’s conclusion.
Personal, honest, and evocative, Donna Vorreyer’s To Everything There Is illustrates a fundamentally human story; it is a heart-wrenchingly beautiful narrative of loss and the somber expression of mourning in the aftermath of death. The vision expressed in this poetry collection is not one of staunch pessimism or bitterness, although it does concede the inevitability of death and the harrowing grief that follows—signaled by the title of the book itself, where the speaker can’t seem to finish the thought, “to everything there is a season,” because to speak of seasons is to assign end points to lived experience. However, the book also does not deny the possibility of eventual peace for those alive, as well as those dying, because those who are gone are “shimmering, singing, remembered, remembered.” She repeats the very word memory is made of.

Alexandria Villegas

The Poetry Editor for MORIA's Issue Six, Alexandria Villegas is an undergraduate student at Woodbury University, pursuing a major in Professional Writing and a minor in Filmmaking. Born and raised in Los Angeles County, California, Villegas spends her days working, writing, and listening to music.

Headshot: Alexandria Villegas